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But get in on those tournaments early; they're usually limited to the first who register, and they sell out quickly. The only thing that keeps us away from a poker table is our serious and committed relationship with money.

Well, that and a large man with a concealed weapons permit who really hates losing. What's the point of playing poker without money involved?

Actually, there is none. Because it ain't real money, your fellow wanna-be World Series champs have been known to call your "all-in" with an off-suit statistically, the worst starting hand in Hold 'Em , and score a full boat on the river.

Sure, you're out, but at least you're not down. For Valley urbanites who think dog tracks like Turf Paradise are just too doggone far away, there's an abundance of off-track-betting sites scattered across our sprawl.

These havens for bombastic betting behavior are usually found inside assorted sports bars and taverns and allow wagering on races at numerous dog and horse tracks both locally and around the nation, with remote video feeds of all the action.

Gallagher's bar and restaurant, located in north Phoenix, is particularly entertaining, as wager-friendly folk from all walks of life gather in an expansive, smoke-filled side room.

Gambling-prone grannies edge their walkers close to the wall filled with video screens, while thirtysomething tweaker types howl desperately for certain pooch es to place first, until the long shots finish back in the pack and bet tickets are torn up in disgust.

By the end of the night, broken peanut shells, torn-up tickets and shattered dreams litter the floor, as a few holdouts remain to sample one of Gallagher's particularly delectable desserts, consisting of a mound of ice cream covered with fudge on top of a just-baked chocolate chip cookie.

It's tasty and helps take the edge off the realization that you just blew your rent money on some dog-and-pony show. Take a break from the strip malls, the freeways, the dog eat dog of the real world, and break for the ponies.

Few things in life are as satisfying as leaning against the fence at the finish line, nursing a drink and looking left to catch the first glimpse of the pack coming home.

If your horse finishes out of the money, no big deal. There's always the next race -- and plenty of beer.

Anyway, gambling isn't the point. It's the fresh air, the scent of the stables, the tight jeans the escort riders wear as they guide the thoroughbreds to the gate.

There's enough superstition in the air to fill 10 Bank One Ballparks. Dare you wager on a pony called U R Toast, or is Notanotherskidmark the safer choice?

Sometimes college students need to just let loose, get a little crazy and occasionally get escorted out of a building after a bit of debauchery.

Spending your nights on Mill Avenue can get old. The real place to catch raucous to year-olds mid-shenanigans is at Wal-Mart. By midnight, at least 10 people will be running, yelling and climbing over displays in a heated game of hide-and-seek.

Letting off steam by acting like a 6-year-old must work, because larger games of 20 to 40 players are orchestrated monthly at MySpace.

The hide-and-seek activity at the Mesa Wal-Mart peaked a few months ago, but there's nothing stopping you from getting on MySpace. After all, when was the last time you were kicked out of anywhere for playing hide-and-seek?

Unlike when you were a kid, your mom won't be there to be embarrassed by you. Steak houses can be pretty bland. The menu of most typical wood-paneled, sawdust-on-the-floor family restaurants can easily be replicated on the grill at home if you know your way around a kitchen.

But throw in a giant steel slide that propels you into the dining room at relatively scary velocities, and you've got Rustler's Rooste.

The designer of the two-story building with a lounge on top and dining below decided a slide leading from the entrance through a mine shaft to the banquet room beneath was the only way to go.

Okay, so there's a staircase for those not adventurous enough to coast to their dining table, but we of course suggest the ride.

Maybe we're incurably 10 years old, but we love this little bit of playground mayhem at the start of any meal. It's late on a Saturday night in the PHX.

You've just downed a dozen Seven and Sevens at the strip club Band Aids. Don't do it, bro! Sure, you might have an industrial-strength, steel-reinforced condom on hand, but them chicas -- if they really are chicas -- have got diseases that'll eat their way through concrete.

Set to the soundtrack of the movie Superfly , Lokey's stills were snapped from a moving car after shouting "Hey, Baby," to workin' girls on the street.

Under the glare of Lokey's unforgiving flash are many, many hella-scary-lookin' ladies of the night, none of whom you'd want to get with in the light of day and fully sober.

The other night we went for a little spin while seriously soused. You'll come across a good mix of players here with regulars, visitors and local amateurs taking to the felt.

This will allow you to mix up your play nicely and to adapt when needed to exploit the villain who is in the hand with you. Take your time in getting to know the players at the table before you start making big moves.

Tournaments are held here every day with up to two on some days of the week. This basic poker room features green felt tables with comfortable chairs against a beige decor.

The chairs are comfortable for longer sessions and the have TVs across the room so you can keep across all your sports bets while you play, if that's your thing.

You'll also be provided with food and cocktail service at the table and they have a high hand prize, aces cracked prize and some other promotions to keep you coming back for more.

You'll find a lot of older regulars here who are looking to pass the time and have fun while doing so.

This means that it's always a good time at the table with a lot of good natured talk and exciting poker action.

The dealers are friendly and helpful here which is a great thing. Gila River Casino Vee Quiva. No limit holdem tournaments are held on Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday.

This poker room features 9 flat screen TVs in a non-smoking environment to make playing here more enjoyable.

The light green felts tables and chairs are well maintained and comfortable, and sit amongst a nice decor with great lighting. Food and cocktail service is provided for players at the table in this poker room.

Finally, they also run a bad beat jackpot to jeep you coming back for more. You'll come across some decent players in this poker room and the atmosphere is fun and welcoming.

The dealers and management go out of their way to make newcomers feel welcome which is mirrored by the regulars.

This makes for a great poker experience and it's well worth a visit if you are in the area. This poker room is large and spacious with over 30 TVs including 8 large screens for your viewing pleasure, all within a non-smoking environment that is separated by glass from the rest of the casino.

Tables and chairs are well maintained and clean and set amongst a modern decor with soft lighting. A high hand prize is offered here as well as a bad beat jackpot and several other daily promotions.

This poker room is mostly filled with regulars, some of which are tough and some are much weaker. So, try to assess the table you are on and adapt your style accordingly.

The dealers are knowledgeable and helpful which is always a good thing. Tournaments are held on Sunday, Tuesday and Wednesday in this room with no limit holdem, no limit pineapple and limit holdem variants available.

This poker room features TV's on the walls and is non-smoking for your comfort. The brown and beige felt tables are clean and the black chairs comfortable for long sessions.

The wood and brick decor is nice on the eye and clashes spectacularly against the colorful carpets. The room is softly lit which is good on the eyes.

They also run a range of promotions at certain times including an aces cracked prize and a high hand contest. The general vibe in this poker room is good with dealers and management knowing the game well and ensuring that everyone feels welcomed.

You'll come across some tough regulars but there should be enough weaker players on most tables for you to be able to do well. Just pick your spots and opponents wisely.

Tournaments are held here from Tuesday to Sunday with no limit holdem, limit Omaha 8 or better and no limit crazy pineapple events. This non-smoking poker room features TVs on the walls to keep you entertained while you play and gold and red felt tables that are clean and comfortable.

The chairs are also good for a long session. Food and cocktail service is provided for players at the table and they also have a self-service beverage station just outside of the poker room.

You can earn comps while you play through the Hon-Dah Players Club and they also run some jackpots and promote to keep you coming back for more.

You'll come across the usual mix of regulars, tourists and amateurs in this poker room meaning you'll need to change up your game on the fly to do well.

The dealers are OK here, although there have been some poor reports which is a shame. In any case, it's a nice place to play with lots of fun to be had.

This small poker area is no smoking and features TVs around the tables so you can stay tuned in to sports scores during the game.

It's just some basic poker tables and chairs in the main gaming pit of the casino. You'll be served cocktails and food at the table while you play here, and they also offer a range of jackpots and promotions to keep you coming back for more.

You'll find mostly amateurs and retired regulars at these poker tables. The play will be passive and slow, so bring your patience with you.

This is the largest poker room in the state and it features green felt tables with brown trim in a large and open room which is known as the Arena Poker Room.

The beige and brown decor adds to the charm of this awesome poker room. It's also fully non-smoking for your comfort.

On top of this they offer players cocktails and food at the table and run bad beat jackpot in both Omaha and holdem.

Due to the size of this poker room you'll come across all sorts of players. On weekend evenings, you'll find softer tables, but also plenty of tough regulars trying to exploit this.

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